oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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