i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
