sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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