Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
