Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
