it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
