Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
