I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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