Kiss
Puke
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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