C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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