Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
