home. puking in laundry basket.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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