Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My ass is underappreciated
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
