So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
