Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he puts the penis in happiness.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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