I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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