Joe is yelling at the trees again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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