Are we in a gay sports bar?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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