Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
