just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
