you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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