Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
