Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
