one word: firstdatebathroomanal
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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