Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
