She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
People in love make me want to vomit
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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