Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
