please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
