im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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