There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
