the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
