HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
