I puked a lego.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
