and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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