During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
