Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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