Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
