So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Randomize
