i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh god it's open bar.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
