She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Randomize