Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
