Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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