you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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