Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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