if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
