The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
