"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
