if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
