So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
