similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize