so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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