I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
