Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
