Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
