You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
