So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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