We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
