drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
