If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
