You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I died a long time ago.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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