somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
