How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
