the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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