there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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