You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
