lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
