His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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