My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
