Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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