you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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