Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
