Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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