I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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